Written by: Xaña Winans
Let’s get real: I’m about to tell you something that might make you squirm a little.
You know that person who’s been answering your phones for the last 15 years? The one who remembers your kids’ birthdays, handles your insurance filing, and basically keeps your entire practice from falling apart?
She might be killing your business. And the hardest part? You already know it.
Your dental marketing company has told you. The call recordings don’t lie. The conversion reports are sitting right there in your inbox, and you’ve even listened to some calls that literally made you cringe. Your cost per new patient keeps climbing, and you’re spending thousands of dollars every month to make that phone ring.
But when it rings? Crickets. Or worse—your front desk answers and unintentionally torpedoes the call with their personal opinions about coming to a practice that doesn’t take their insurance.
“Delta Dental? Sorry, we’re out of network with Delta. That means you’ll need to pay the full amount for your dental work up front, and then the insurance company will reimburse you for part of that cost.”
Click. There goes hundreds of dollars in marketing spend.
And when your marketing team gently points this out, you nod. You agree to get your team training. You down a glass of bourbon as you listen to the calls and skim the transcripts that clearly identify the root problem—your front desk.
And then… you do nothing. Because firing Sharon—or even having a difficult conversation with Sharon—feels impossible.
I’ve Seen This Movie Before (And It Never Ends Well)
Here’s what usually happens: Your marketing company generates the leads. The phone rings. The front desk doesn’t answer, or answers poorly, or injects their decade-old beliefs about how “why would anyone come to an office that doesn’t take their insurance?” into every conversation.
Your dental marketing company shows you the data. They offer training. Your team sits through it, maybe even takes notes. A few nod in agreement, and the guilty party stares moodily at the trainer because they feel called out.
A month later? Same behavior. Same conversion rate. Same excuses. And you—the practice owner—let it slide.
Why? Because Sharon isn’t just your receptionist. She’s practically family. But here’s the thing about family: they don’t always belong on your team.
The Family vs. Team Framework That Changes Everything
There’s a video that’s been making the rounds by Matt Veralaque that nails this distinction.
The concept is simple but powerful: A family accepts you unconditionally. A team has standards. In a family, you belong no matter what. In a team, you belong if you perform. Both have value. Both matter. But they’re not the same thing.
When you treat your employees like family, you create an environment where accountability becomes nearly impossible. Because how do you “fire” family? You don’t. So you suffer in silence, and your practice stagnates. There’s one question you’ve got to ask yourself: Is this person helping the business succeed, or are they hurting it?
The Weight of the Trolley Problem
You know the famous thought experiment, right? A trolley is barreling down the tracks toward a dozen people. You can pull a lever and divert it to another track—but one or two people will die on that track instead.
What do you do? This is your practice right now.
On one track: Sharon (or whoever your Sharon is). One person. Maybe two. People you care about. People who’ve been loyal to you.
On the other track: Your family’s financial future. The rest of your team who are performing. The patients who desperately need care. Your ability to keep the doors open.
Nobody wants to make this choice. It’s brutal. It’s unfair. It keeps you up at night. But the trolley is moving whether you pull the lever or not.
I get it. I really, really do. The fear of being “the bad guy” is a brutal reality to reconcile yourself with. But you know what else is real? Your kids’ college tuition. Your team’s Christmas bonuses. Your single-mom assistant, who’s been doing excellent work and deserves a raise. The associate you hired who’s counting on this job. They’re all on that other track.
The Conversation You’re Avoiding (And How to Have It)
Here’s what I want you to understand: You can love Sharon. You can appreciate her loyalty. You can recognize everything she’s done for you.
And you can still hold her accountable. These things are not mutually exclusive.
The conversation might sound like this: “Sharon, I need to talk to you about something important. You’ve been with me for 15 years, and I value you. But I also have to be honest: our phone conversion rate is at 22% when it should be at 60%. That’s costing us roughly $15,000 a month in lost revenue. I need that to change, and I need your help to change it. Here’s what success looks like…”
Then you outline the standard. You provide support and training. You check in regularly. And if things don’t improve? You make the hard call.
Not because you don’t care about Sharon. But because you care about everyone—including your family and the rest of your team, who are counting on this business to succeed. Because when you get right down to it, that’s what you own—a business, not a charity.
This is the hardest marketing decision you’ll ever make—not because it’s complicated, but because it requires you to choose your business over your comfort.
What Happens on the Other Side
I can’t promise it won’t be hard. It 100% will be. You’ll feel guilty. You’ll second-guess yourself. You’ll wonder if you’re a bad person. (You’re not. I mean it.)
But you know what else will happen? Your phone conversion rate will start to climb. Your cost per new patient will drop. Your schedule will fill up with patients. Your dental marketing will finally work the way it’s supposed to.
And your team will finally see that standards matter. That excellence is rewarded.
The business you want—the thriving, growing, profitable practice that serves your family and your community—is on the other side of the conversation you’re avoiding.
The train is moving. The numbers don’t lie. And that lever isn’t going to pull itself.
It’s time.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Xaña Winans is the CEO and founder of Golden Proportions Marketing. For over two decades, her dental marketing agency has helped dental practices move forward with marketing that’s more than creative. It’s calculated, accountable, and built to perform. With a full team of dental marketing experts and backed by 25 years of pattern recognition, they bring insight, execution, and the kind of momentum that keeps marketing moving forward.
FEATURED IMAGE CREDIT: Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock.com.
